I’ve spent part of my morning listening to self-improvement recordings and each that I’ve listened to seems to have a particular point that I took away from it.
Lisa Jimenez says “Behavior is change through emotion not logic,” and that there is a synergy between you and cosmic forces. When you say “I AM a successful designer” you are declaring not merely suggesting and this creates for you an emotional link that ties you to the affirmation. When you visualize you must translate your words into imagery. According to Lisa the brain doesn’t process words, it processes images. I agree with this.
When I was in college (not so long ago as you might think!) I had a remarkable english professor who taught Composition I & II. His mantra through both courses was one word: VIVID! He taught us to use words to paint imagery. He insisted that we write in a way that we make the reader feel, hear, smell, see the events not just the words. In doing so we were inviting our reader into our writing. What a tremendous gift to give a reader!
So, what does $100,000 look like to you? What would $100,000 give you this year, in physical terms? A new car? a new home? all of your bills paid off so that you can go to that super nice restaurant and not have to think twice about pulling out a credit card because your debt is gone and you have the money to pay the cc off next week? Is it a VISA card? MBNA? Platinum? Or do you have a roll of green bills because you just like having the cash in your hand to give the cashier?
What color is the car? model? can you smell the leather? what is playing on your cd/dvd player?
Describe the house you will have? Is it large and modern, small and cozy, an older farm house or a quaint victorian? Is it in the mountains? Down south? by the ocean? East coast? West coast? Can you see the trees? plants? street? hear the sounds? is there a porch? skylight? what is the kitchen like? tour your home and describe the rooms as if you are showing it to a friend.
Jeff Keller says, “Positive belief, when optimistic, leads forward.” He also has conducted many surveys by way of question cards in his seminars that show the top 2 fears we have are: Fear of Speaking and the Fear of Failure/Rejection. His response to that is “If you want to be highly successful you have to be willing to be uncomfortable.” As much as I wish I could disagree with him, I know personally that he is right. Only when I tell myself that I have to do something regardless of the outcome do I find the courage to do it. I have, however, preceded this with a bit of self-discussion (a nice way of saying I talk myself into it by talking to myself). The self-discussion goes something like this:
Me: Okay, so what’s the worse that can happen if I do this?
Self: You could be the laughing stock of the day.
Me: Okay, and ..
Self: You could get there, realize it’s not going to work and leave.
Me: Okay, and more?
Self: You could find someone really interesting to talk to, or meet someone who calls you to work with them.
Me: Okay, so what you are saying is that the worse that can happen is I make a fool out of myself, right?
Me: Or I could just enjoy meeting new people, right?
Me: Or, the best that can happen is I meet new interesting people who are interested in what I can do with them professionally, yes?
Self: Those are the possibilities, yep.
Me: So, I won’t die, i won’t be arrested, and I won’t be scarred for life.
Self: You got it!
Me: Hmm .. I can handle that.
Self: Sure you can. I knew it all along.
I’m not even kidding. I do this self-pep talk often just before I’m going to a networking event. As soon as I come to grips with the worst that can happen and I realize that it won’t be as bad as being hurt or maimed, I can gather together the remnants of my courage and get myself to the event. Make no mistake, I shake like a leaf the whole time but gradually I realize that there’s nothing to be afraid of. Most of the people attending these events are like me, real human beings who are looking to make connections in the local community with other business owners for any number of reasons. There will always be a portion that think they are untouchable but they usually aren’t what Bob Burg calls the “center of influences” in the room anyway. Egotists rarely are although they think they are.
Lisa also touched on this in her talk, with regard to rejections. If you think about what she says, “it takes 10 No’s to get 1 Yes,” you can start to look at the “no’s” as one more down .. only X to go! to get to that precious yes! It’s turning the negative into the positive and making it work for you instead of against you.
I think, though before we get to that point we have to learn to look at and then let go of the past because a lot of what we’ve experienced before learning how important our positive attitude is, has been negatively influencing our lives. Society is conditioned to controlling the masses, and masses are most easily controlled by making them feel negatives instead of positives, sometimes even when the exhortation is phrased to sound as if it is not that way. That, however, we’ll explore next time!
May All Your Dreams Come True!